


Butterfly Dreams

by Alchery



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Flips between AU and Series, M/M, hold on to your butts, prepare to get confused at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-02-28 03:08:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2716655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alchery/pseuds/Alchery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Once he dreamt he was a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know he was himself. Suddenly he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable him. But he didn't know if he was he himself who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was himself. Between himself and a butterfly there must be some distinction! This is called the Transformation of Things.” - Inspired by a passage of Zhuangzi's Butterfly Dream. (( Characters will be added and ratings will go up later on depending on how far I decide to go. ))</p><p>HIATUS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Childhood

**Author's Note:**

> HI-HI!! Okay, I know I have the other SNK fic to finish but considering I have to write Marco’s death the way I do, it’s really hard… I keep crying…and I'm in the middle of moving, so I'm not writing much of anything right now... Any who, this fic goes back and forth between two time periods, each written depending on whose POV it’s in and their age. Like this one will seem a little scatter-brained because they’re little and excited.
> 
> So yeah. Enjoy and don’t forget to kudo or comment if you like it! And yes, I’m working on the other chapter to my SNK fic. I'm seriously trying here!!!! ;A;
> 
> ...this is killing me not being able to write more...

On a rainy day coming home from school, outside his family’s 2 story apartment complex, was a moving truck. Luckily, his family owned the small 8 roomed complex, so he knew everyone who came and gone from the place since he could remember. One person named Erwin from America had moved out a week ago. He was nice and he didn’t want him to leave, but being Military, he had to. However, the young boy wasn’t heartbroken over it. He had the man’s address so they could be pen-pals, but what he was so happy about, was the new people who were moving in.

Marco heard that a new family with a boy close to his age were the new tenants to move in. He was so excited!! A huge grin graced his lips and he took off sprinting down the sidewalk and into the courtyard of the complex.

Three men were taking out boxes from the truck and up the stairs to the second door to the right just at the stairs. A man and Marco’s father were by the bottom of the stairs, talking with papers in their hands. Must’ve had to do with the final paperwork to moving into the building. Marco’s father looked up from the papers in his hand and spotted him, a smile on his face as well.

“Welcome home son!”

Marco smiled more and walked up to the two men. “Hi dad!” He turned to the new tenant. “Are you the ones moving in?” He asked, something routine he had become accustom to doing even if he knew they moving in. The fact that he was meeting someone new always excited him.

“We are, young man! I’m Mr. Kirschstien! And your name is?” He said cheerfully, leaning down and holding out his hand for the freckled boy to take.

“My name is Marco Bodt! I’m eight and a half years old!” He said excitedly as he stood up straight and shook the man’s hand.

Marco’s dad chuckled and Mr. Kischstein smiled more and stood up straight. “I have a son about your age! He’s seven and a half himself!” Marco brightened up more. Had he smiled anymore, his face could turn into his own little sun it was so radiant. “He’s up in the flat if you’d like to go meet him?”

“I’ll go meet him now!” Marco exclaimed excitedly, bolting around his dad and up the stairs just before the movers got to the stairs with arms and trollies full of boxes. The young Marco practically flew through the air as he sped his way to the open door with boxes sitting just outside on the balcony. He slowed the closer he got to the door, his smile looking less as big and more curious. He didn’t want to scare him from looking over zealous.

For Marco, this was exciting for him. He never had a kid his age live in the complex his parents owned – unless you counted when a newly-wed couples lived there once and came home with a baby one day; but they had moved out a long time ago.

Peaking around the door frame, his brown eyes looked around the room and saw a boy with dirty blonde hair walk out of one of the bedrooms with a box in his arms. He seemed to be a little chubby, but it made him look adorable.

“Mommy! This box goes in my room??” He questioned, his head tilted to the side with a look of obvious doubt on his face.

“It should, hun! If it’s marked Jeanie’s room, it goes in your room!” The boy’s mom shouted from the kitchenette.

“Are you sure?”  
  
“I’m sure! Did you open it and look at what was inside?”

“Yes! It has cooking stuff!!” The blonde boy puffed his cheeks like he was angry that his mom didn’t believe him.

“It what?!” His mom soon popped out of the area of the kitchenette and walked over to the boy, opening and looking inside the box. “How did those end up in this box?”

“I don’t know mom, you tell me!” He puckered his lips as he pouted.

Marco chuckled a little, catching the boy’s attention. The blonde looked a little around his mom and spotted the black haired boy.

“What is it Jean?” The boy’s mom asked and looked over her shoulder to see what he was looking at. “Oh!” Hello there!” She smiled at him with the gentlest and nicest of smiles he’d ever seen next to his mom’s.

Seeing as he was caught, his smile went away and a blush took over his cheeks. He hid more behind the door frame and gave a little wave. Marco could always dish it out, but he could never receive it when it came to meeting girls. But being the sweet little gentleman that he was, he still gave out a small wave to the two.

“Do you live here?” She asked. Marco gave a quick nod, a smile starting to creep onto his face. She looked back at her son, who was shyly hiding behind his mom as he looked at Marco. She could see that Marco was eager to meet them all. “Why don’t you go introduce yourself?”

The little boy looked up at his mom as if he weren’t sure if it was really okay to go over and meet him. He didn’t know if Marco was from the complex or not, but with a nudge to his shoulder, he looked back and walked over to Marco.

Marco came out from around the door frame and smiled more at the boy. He was taller than him for someone being a year younger than him. The young boy stood up straight and lifted his hand up to him, a tint of light pink dusted his cheeks as he looked at Marco.

“I-I’m Jean Kirschstein! I’m seven and a half years old! What, um…Wh-What’s your name?”

“I’m Marco Bodt. I’m eight and a half years old. It’s nice to meet you…!” Marco blushed a light pink as well; taking Jean’s out stretched hand and gave it a small shake.

The boys smiled at each other as they shook hands. The feeling was familiar, but new none the less.


	2. Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long since I updated this, but things have been crazy the past year that I really haven't had time to write anything. Ah life. So here is the second chapter to Butterfly Dreams. I'll try my best to keep up on this story, I truly promise. I tried not to make this chapter seem like it's being dropped where it is, but I had to go back and read a little more of what I had started to write a year ago and couldn't really think of anything to add to this. So now I'm back on track! I'm going to try and update this every other week on Mondays now, so if I'm late I'm so sorry! But I will update this sometime that week if I don't update on those Mondays.
> 
> Otherwise, please enjoy!
> 
> None of these characters belong to me. Only the theme of this story.

Jean, with his small sack in hand, entered through the gates to a large open space where he and other recruits were to get their uniforms for the Cadets.

Yes. Jean had left home for the Cadets so that he may join the Military Police. He didn’t want to have to worry about threat of titans as much as the others nor did he wish to ever encounter a titan. He wanted the good life inside the walls. As long as the Scouting Legion was around, what was there to worry about? Sure Wall Maria was lost, but he didn’t live there. He didn’t have to worry. No; because he was going to work his way to working in Wall Sina. He wanted the good life where he could rub shoulders with the rich, find a nice girl to settle down with without worrying about a thing. Who said it was a crime to live the simple rich life without the title of a Military officer?

‘Yeah…’ Jean thought. ‘Military officer sounds about right. Better yet, commander would sound even better: Commander Jean Kirschstein of the Military Police!’

Lost in his thoughts, he ran into someone on accident, dropping both his pack and the other’s as well.

“Ah! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going!” Said a voice as they both leaned down to pick up their things.

“Yeah, well-!” Jean began until he looked up. A freckled face came into view with a sheepish grin and a blush of embarrassment. “…That’s fine. I wasn’t paying attention either.”

The two picked up their bags and the few things spilled out of them and stood up.

“My name is Marco. Marco Bodt! It’s nice to meet you…!” He said after putting his things away into his sack. He held his hand out to the two-toned haired boy with a smile on his face.

Jean put the last of his things in his sake and looked at Marco’s hand and then up to his face. “Jean Kirschstein.” Jean took his hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you Marco.”

Marco smiled more and the two of them began to walk farther into the open area: boot camp for the Trainees.

“So what branch do you want to get into?” Marco asked as he looked around the area. It was set up to be wide open in the middle, but neatly organized with training equipment around the fenced in area. The building next to the entrance was large and on the outside of the fences by the building, were huts to house the Trainees.

Jean looked around as well, seeing people in groups – either because they joined together or they were like him and Marco, they just met. “I plan on joining the Military Police. What about you my freckled friend?”

Marco made a side glance at him and gave a nervous smile. “I was think the Military Police as well, but I’m not sure.”

“How are you not sure?” Jean asked, rather confused.

“Well, I would love to work in the name of the king and the closest to doing so is by joining the Military Police. But at the same time, I would like to make my contributions to the cause against the titans as well. So I might know exactly what I want to the more I learn about how you get into what.” Marco chuckled as he explain. He scratched his cheek, knowing that what he said was strange. After all, everyone else knew who they were hoping to join, even Jean.

Jean looked at him and chuckled. “You’re a strange one, Marco, but you seem like a pretty awesome guy!” He lightly punched the dark haired teen’s arm with a grin.

Marco lightly rubbed his arm with a smile on his face. It didn’t hurt, but the gesture was nice. “I guess we can think of us as friends then?” Marco asked, letting his arm down.

“Yeah! I guess it does!” He nodded and held his hand out for a shake. Marco grabbed his handed and nodded back.

“Friends.”

“Line up!” Came a loud shout from what seemed out of nowhere. It was time for the trainees to line up and be examined. Everyone ran to their positions, ready and waiting for their drill sergeant to come up to them.

“This should be a piece of cake.” Jean said as he and Marco quickly walked over to their spots – all the trainees forming 5 rows on the training grounds.

“You think so? I don’t think it’ll be that easy…” Marco said, taking his spot to Jean’s left in line.

“Why? All he’s gonna do is stare out at us all, say a few words and then – boom! Done.” Jean said, making it out to seem like the easiest thing in the world.

“Attention!” A shout came from the head of the trainees, it was then, that they all became silent. Jean and Marco stood as still as possible, no more smiling faces.

The drill sergeant finished up looking over most of the now terrified trainees and too his leave. Jean and Marco breathed a sigh of relief. It took longer than they thought it would. Jean just turned to Marco and grinned.

“See? Not so bad? Worse than I thought, but not so bad!”

“Says you!” Marco said with a look of a kicked puppy. “I thought if I didn’t answer correctly on something I was gonna get mauled for sure by him!”

Jean shrugged and slapped the freckled teen’s back. “Yeah, he was a scary lookin’ guy, but it still wasn’t too bad. Just a pain in the ass having to stand like that for so long.

Marco took another sigh of relief. “Well, at least it’s over. Let’s head inside so that we can get our room numbers and sleeping arrangements.” Marco smiled at Jean a little sheepishly. “Wanna bunk with each other if we can pick ourselves?”

Jean blinked and gave him a bored look as they walked. “Of course we can bunk together. I don’t wanna get stuck with some weirdo who snores in my ears and push me out of bed!”

Marco laughed. “And how do you know I’m not the kinda person who does that?”

“Ya don’t look it.”

“And how does a person who does all that supposed to look?”

Jean pointed at a random person. “Like that guy.”

Marco chuckled. “Really now?”

“Yep.”

“Good thing I’m not him and don’t do anything like that!”

“Good thing indeed, Marco.” Jean grinned as he slapped the black haired teens back. The whistle blew soon after and the two got in a row waiting for the drill sergeant.


	3. Playful Antics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late night update! Doing color flow for cookies isn't as easy as we thought - and we had and still have a lot of cookies to ice for Christmas! This is a short chapter because of the end of the year and the need of getting of other projects done before the holiday comes up. Next chapter comes out next year! Literally! Wow, end of the year already... It also is one step closer, like in the next chapter, to getting the plot of the story. There is a lot of back and forth of chapters, but I promise it'll start making more sense.
> 
> Enjoy the little bit of confusion in this short chapter!

Within a few weeks, shy strangers became best friends. They would run around the complex playing hide and seek, tag, and cops and robbers. The residents never complained. It was nice to see young Marco and Jean playing together since there were no other in the resident complex.

It didn’t matter to the boys that there were no other kids to play with, they were satisfied with just each other as they were. Yeah, they would make friends by the time they enter school, but for now, they were all they needed. Almost as if they were making up for lost time not knowing each other since birth.

“Hey Jean…” Marco spoke up one day after a long game of tag. “Do you think will be friends even when we go into high school?”

Jean plopped down onto the grass in the court yard of the complex and grinned and chuckled. “Of course we will! What makes you think that we won’t be?” Jean asked, looking up to the freckled boy standing above him.

Marco smiled down at Jean’s slightly chubby face. “I just feel like we could stop being friends someday…and I don’t want that to happen.”

Jean huffed and sat up a bit, holding his hand out for Marco to take. Marco blinked and took his hand wondering if the French boy needed a hand up. The moment he took his hand, Jean’s grin broadened and pulled the older boy down to lie next to him. Marco gave a small shriek as he went down. He looked over at Jean with a pout as he began to laugh.

“Jean!”

“Haha! Sorry! But you were getting too serious!” Jean gave a big smile and grabbed the freckled boy’s hand and gave it a small squeeze. “We are going to be friends for a long time, so relax! For now, wanna go play some video games? Or do you wanna go play hide and seek again?”

Marco lied there and thought about for a moment. “How about we play soldiers?”

“Military Police soldiers!” Jean busted out with excitement.

Marco nodded in agreement with a smile as big and bight as Jean’s. “Yeah!”

The two shot up from the ground and took off running. Shouting with smiles as if they were the stars of a hit military action movie. As the boys ran around, their mom’s looked on and watched them play around with each other.

“I’m glad to see them getting along so well. Marco hasn’t had. A real friend in such a long time.” Mrs. Bodt said as she looked out the window of their living room.

“Same with Jean.” Mrs. Kirschstein said with a smile. “He was always being bullied in our old town. So he never really had friends at the time. This move was a good thing in my opinion.”

“Well, tonight have to tell him that he and Jean are going to have a new playmate soon…!” Mrs. Bodt smiled and pat her belly. Mrs. Kirschstein gave a large smile and congratulated her on the news.

Just then, the boys came running inside. “We’ll protect you!” They shouted with smiles on their faces.

“Oh my, protect us from what?” Mrs. Kirschstein said with a still bright smile on her lips.

“The giants!” Jean shouted as he too out his toy gun and aimed it at the door.

Marco came over to their mothers and held up the borrowed toy gun. “They’re here to eat us up!”

“Eat us up?! How terrible!” Mrs. Bodt dramatically spoke out, putting a hand on her cheek as if in dread.

“Imaginations can run wild, can’t they?” Mrs. Kirschstein chuckled to Marco’s mother. The boys suddenly stopped and looked at each other in confusion.

“But they’re real! They really will try and eat you guys!” Jean exclaimed with a pout.

“They tried to once before!” Marco said with minor desperation.

“We have to keep the walls around the cities to make sure they don’t come and get you all!” Jean explained.

Suddenly their moms became a little concerned at what the two of them were going on about all of a sudden. Maybe the two of them had been watching a little too much TV and had their imaginations running a little too wild. Mrs. Bodt looked down at the two boys and smiled at them, despite her dislike for their rather dark made up story.

“I can assure you, boys, you’re all doing an amazing job at it already. They must have run off from how brave the two of you are for defending everyone!”

This did little to assure the two young boys like the freckled boy’s mom had intended it to, but it calmed them down enough to look at each other and state they were going to go and watch for the enormous beings at the wall – which to them, was the large stone fencing that encased the surrounding complex.

What seemed like playful antics to their mothers, was so much more than imagination to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter or this story so far, don't forget to leave a kudo! And if you want to know when they story updates, don't forget to bookmark!
> 
> I'd also like to do a little free advertisement:
> 
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> 
> Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you all!


	4. Of Doubled Bedrolls and Flare Guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some two-on-two survival training! And some very close bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm so, so sorry for not updating this two Monday update dates in a row. January got really busy really quick and it didn't give me time to A: Not finish the chapter and B: I was just too damn busy and decided to wait until this Monday to update it rather than an unscheduled date. It did, however, give me time to work on the next chapter that will - no matter what, even if it is really short and I don't want it that way - be posted. I'd also like to tell you guys that because I am looking for a job, there will come a point where my updates for this will go from updated 2-3 times a month to 1 or 2 times when I actually get to working. I'm a workaholic, so I'm letting ya'll know that now before I drop the bomb later.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I literally had to just pull 90% out of my ass I was feeling such a massive pressure of stress to finish this. In fact, this story is a lot shorter than I would have liked...So if something seems off, I greatly apologize. I might come back to this later to clean it up a little more.

After the first month of training, the two boys became closer friends. It was discovered, and well known at this point, the Jean and Eren Jaeger didn’t like each other. Part of it was because of his liking of Mikasa Ackerman, one of Eren’s best friends since childhood. The other was they just honestly because Jean saw him almost as competition. They tried as best they could to stay out of each other’s way despite being in the same Cadet Core. He had his other friends that he made and Marco to keep him company and make training less irritable.

Today, after less than a year of joining the Cadets, they were being separated into groups of 2, for survival training. After all, you never know, if the time comes, when a situation may arise that it’ll just be you and one other. In a month or so would be survival training by themselves. For now, it was now just the two of them, Marco and Jean. And as much as Jean would have liked to have been paired with Mikasa, she had already been snatched up by Jaeger. Never the less, Jean enjoyed Marco’s company.

The boys were on their way to the location on the map they were given. Each group were given completely different maps with completely different destinations – all within sight from the Cadet Base. It was protocol to carry one of the flare guns like they would on any mission no matter the branch they chose to join, this being said, Jean was playing with their empty flare gun as they walked.

“Put it back before you drop it and ruin the barrel.” Marco warned, but a smile still graced his lips. It wasn’t exactly the best flare gun they could have been given, but it was the last one they could get – and they were told by their superiors that it could be rather faulty at times. They were given specific orders to not use it unless they had to and to keep it right at the hip securely so that it wouldn’t be any more damaged than it already was.

“Relax, I’m not gonna drop it. I’m just…making sure that we don’t lose it is all. Never know when it could drop out of our belts–” The flare gun then spun out of his hands and went flying high into the air. Panicking, Jean rushed to catch it just in time before it hit the ground with a slide.

Another sigh was met with his own after catching the flare gun. Peaking over his shoulder, he could see the dark haired teen walking up to him with a shake of his head. “I told you to it was going to happen.” Marco told him calmly.

“I caught it, didn’t I?” Jean smarted back. Marco held out a hand for him and he gladly took it, letting himself be helped up by his slightly older friend.

“That you did, but just in case you don’t catch it the next time, could you please put that away? It’s the only one that we have and if something were to happen to us with a broken or lost flare gun, we’re done for.” Marco told him matter-of-factly. He was quite the mother hen for everyone. Jean occasionally had no problem telling him that very fact every now and then. But a lot of the times it wasn’t such a bad thing – especially when Jaeger would start shit with him.

“Alright, alright…” Jean nearly groaned out. He buckled the flare gun to his side as tightly as possible without the gun going to pieces. “Why do they still have this gun if it’s so faulty anyways?”

“Because of money and because it still shoots out the canisters, but not always.” Marco told him with a nod. Jean ‘ah-ed’ with a nod and they walked in silence for a moment before, “…maybe….” Was muttered out by the freckled teen.

Jean whipped his head around with a nervous chuckle. “I’m not so sure I feel confident with that answer there, Marco.”

“You’re laughing though, aren’t you?” Marco smiled over at the partly blonde boy next to him.

“I may be laughing now, but what if it blows up in my face! Or yours!” Jean pointed out, a nervous smile matching to his nervous voice.

“I doubt that’s going to happen to us, Jean.” He chuckled, adjusting the pack on his back. “Besides, the only one firing that off will be me.”

“And you know this how?”

“You nearly broke the flare.”

\-----

Having reached their location, Jean and Marco began unpacking the little things they had in their packs, all packed with basic things all soldiers had no matter the branch: A bed roll each, flint, a few packs of emergency food, a couple of different sized knifes, your rifle, hand gun, flare gun, a few smoke canisters for your flare gun, small emergency kit filled with gauze, disinfectant and pain killers, a canteen, a spare blanket and the cloak you wore on your back. It was up to you to get the other provisions to survive in a remote location.

“We need to shoot off one of the smoke canisters to tell the Cadet Base we made it to our location alright. We’re gonna be here for a week. Can’t let them worry that they lost trainees.” Marco said as he packed away the map and dug into his pack for a smoke canister.

“I’ll fire it off.” Jean said, setting his pack down and taking the flare gun off his hip.

“I thought you were worried about it going off?” Marco handed the canister over without fuss, but still questioned Jean at his change of attitude.

“Can’t have your pretty face getting blown off, now can I?” Jean chuckled, taking the canister and loading the flare gun. “Besides, I kinda thought about it. If it blows up in my face, maybe Mikasa will worry over me enough to nurse me to health.”

“If anyone is going to worry about that, it’s going to be me. Remember the last time you hurt yourself? You were in a fight the Eren.”

“And?”

“You both got pretty hurt when you trip over your feet.”

“So?”

“Mikasa worried over Eren for just a scrape on his cheek when you got the brunt of the fall, spraining your ankle and knee with quite a bit of bruising.” Marco stated matter-of-factly.

“Ngh…” Jean flinched and looked down at the flare gun. He had a point, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying…not that he wanted the flare gun to blow up in his face. With a short, low grumble of “stupid ass Jaeger” he loaded the flare gun and lifted it up in the air.

Jean noted that Marco took a step back and watched closely at him and the flare gun. With a deep breath, the blonde looked away and fired the flare gun. It didn’t go off right away, but it did go off – no exploding or anything. With a sigh of relief, from them both, they got to work on finding provisions for shelter.

After hours of searching, some arguing, and some whacks to the hands and fingers, they got their shelter built – complete with a fire pit for their food. Now that was the only thing left they had to do.

“Do you know how to hunt?” Jean asked, putting some would inside their shelter, just next to the bedrolls they lied out on the ground. They had set down some large broken off logs to make a type of floor – a bit of a hole was dug so they wouldn’t budge too easily – so they didn’t have to get too chilled when they slept.

“Kinda. My dad and I use to go on occasion for rabbits.” Marco said, as he laid out the wood for their fire before night came upon them. “I never fired the shots though, wasn’t exactly my thing.”

“And yet you shoot perfectly well in training.” Jean grinned. Marco smiled over at him and shrugged. “Want to have a little game then?”

“We’re not playing with guns, Jean.”

“I don’t mean like that.” Jean said, taking up his rifle. “Whoever gets dinner first, doesn’t take watch first.”

Marco stood up and took the gun from him. “Let’s just get some food, Jean.”

Well, he didn’t exactly say no, but when they finally went out to hunt, it turned into who could make the best shot. They honestly felt like children with toy guns that shot real bullets. Of course, Marco being the responsible one, mentioned that they didn’t have any spare bullets to waist. And with that, they took home the small amount of game they had: a Swiss cheesed rabbit.

For two nights after, they mostly talked between gathering times, water searching and hunting. Yes they were bunk mates, but with all the people around, they never got to really know each other. They would talk as they lied in their bedrolls, letting their voices be as loud or quiet as they wanted them to be.

The night they should have started getting ready so they could finish up packing and head back to base, a deluge of rain came down upon them without warning before the sun was close to being set. They took cover in their shelter, glad that they had reinforced the make-shift roof thanks to the brilliant mind of Jean for this very situation – and shade when it was hotter than hell – they were perfectly dry. The fire, however, wasn’t an option for warmth as it had rapidly cooled off and as the sky got darker and darker behind dark grey clouds, the temperature grew colder. The two teens were huddled next to each other in their bedrolls, covered with their spare blankets.

“You’d think it was winter…” Marco muttered about the cold as he watched the rain poor down like the sky itself was sobbing. Jean almost missed what he said from how hard and loudly the rain hit the leaves and branches of trees and the hard ground. He was lucky he looked over at him from hearing light grumbles, coming from Marco’s stomach. It had been doing that for a while, but he never said anything.

Jean had to admit that he was hungry, too. What was worse for them? Their hunt that morning was futile. Not that they couldn’t catch anything, they had plenty of original ammo remaining in their rifles since Jean decided it’d be much more fun to, “Ruff it out like true lost boys!” and use hand-made traps – that worked, of course. But the fact that there was not a sight of easy game in sight had them searching instead for the lack of natural food resources they were provided with without going too far away from their camp. Even then though, there wasn’t much.

In the meantime, they were practically freezing. Their uniforms weren’t as warm as they looked to be and their spare blankets weren’t all that warm to top it all off, even when they were in their bedrolls that came with blankets. They both shivered and their teeth chattered in unison. Looking at each other, they chuckled.

"Cold?” Jean asked.

“Very.” Marco said, a bit of a chuckle still rumbling through him.

Jean sat there and thought, still looking at the raven haired teen. With a deep breath, he lifted his blankets up towards Marco. The older of the two looked over at him with surprise.

“What? We share in our bunks – all of us. Not like this is weird or anything like that. We need to stay warmer somehow.”  
  
“You’re only supposed to do that in dire situations-“

“This one kind of is. I can’t feel the ass I’m freezing off.” Jean interrupted, looking away from Marco as his cheeks dusted with a bit of pink.

Why did he feel embarrassed?

Jean head rustling of the bedroll next to him and looked up to see Marco taking his two blankets and putting them on top of the ones the blonde was already covered up in. In no time flat after, Marco was practically snuggled into Jean’s side from how cramped it now was on the bedroll they now shared. Jean knew that Marco could have moved his own bedroll next to him to make a bit more room, but in truth, it was actually warmer being so close together. More comfortable than the actual bedroll they lied on.

A smile, a bit nervous and embarrassed, was placed across Marco’s face. “Thanks. It’s warm.” He practically hummed out. Jean held his breath at the soft tone, turning his gaze from Marco to the rain that poured down heavily through the trees.

Was he staring at him longer than he should have? How could he not have noticed?

But the silence that was between them was pleasant as they watched the rain. After a while, they began talking again, quieter, more intimate. Jean noticed himself smiling as they talked, and when Marco’s smile would get bigger or softer, he felt his chest warm up. It wasn’t long until the two of them fell asleep, with the rain gone by the time they woke up. After a small breakfast of a luckily captured rabbit for the two of them to cook up, they packed their things in a comfortable silence. Marco shot a small smile towards Jean as the left that made his heart feel like it leaped out of his chest and soared. The feeling only made Jean smile back with a reflex.

‘It was less than a month later that the titans attacked again…and I never saw Marco alive again...’

\-----

Jean’s eyes flew open and he stared at the ceiling of his bedroom in a panic, in complete disbelief, as he felt a cold sweat roll down his forehead and into his hair. He gripped the blankets of his bed tightly...

“What fucked up dream was that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was that I put at the end? You'll have to find out in the next chapter. Also, make sure to keep this chapter in mind through out the story. This may seem like a bit of a filler, but it's so much more than that!
> 
> If you guys liked this fic, give a kudo and/or a comment; and if you REALLY liked this fic, give it a bookmark and keep yourself updated on the updates!


	5. High School Happenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peak in the life of Jean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm over a month late on the update. Life is busy and I haven't had any time to actually write. With life as busy as it is, I'm only updating this once a month every second Monday. Anything I write aside from my two main fan fictions are for when I have writers block.
> 
> Also like to point out that I had to pull an ending and chapter name out of my ass just to update this. So if it seems incomplete or abrupt at the ending I am so, so sorry. It's not what I wanted to have happen but it did.
> 
> Enjoy otherwise!

**Butterfly Dreams  
Chapter 5: High School Happenings ******

_‘It was less than a month later that the titans attacked again...’ ___

Jean sat up in bed and wiped the sweat away from his brow.

_‘…and I never saw Marco alive again...’ ___

The sound of his thought echoed in his mind, as if it were foreboding him of what was to come. What kind of fucked up dream was that? Yes, he already said it once, but the thought was worth repeating.

Out of all the years Jean and Marco knew each other, after all the years of growing up together from just small kids, he would have never had such terrifying thoughts about his best friend like that. Sure he had dreams of titans, of adventures of fighting the creatures, but what his mind said in his dream was so sad, so foreboding, so heartbroken, it worried him.

The dream itself was pleasant. It wasn’t odd for him to dream of what they did together either just recently or something of back in the day, from what he heard it was rather normal. They had gone camping the year before with some friends from school, and they were planning on taking another trip this year as well. He figured that the dream was nothing more than him wishing that the only ones who could go on this trip were just him and Marco – especially since Jean and Eren had their falling out just two weeks after their trip.

Jean took a deep breath and swung his legs over the edge of his bed. Taking a deep breath, he tried to think of this more logically. He was probably having this dream because the trip into the mountains was coming up soon. Maybe it was a slight fear that things weren’t going to go as smoothly as it did last year. Yeah, that was it.

Taking another deep breath, he pushed the dream to the back of his mind. It was nothing for him to be worrying about. A dream is a dream and there is never any meaning to them. Getting up off his bed, he readied for school. As he was half way pulling his pants up, the doorbell rang and the door opened. Knowing who it was, Jean effectively tripped over his feet, his trousers just below his knees, and landed hard on the floor.

“He’s obviously up.” He heard a voice from down stairs. A chuckle as a reply traveled down the hall as footsteps came up the stairs.

“Are you almost done getting dressed?” Marco asked, opening Jean’s bedroom door and leaning against the door frame. It wasn’t an unusual sight for Marco to see at this point, but there always seemed to be a bit of embarrassment between them despite it. This only ever happened though when Jean would never hear his alarm go off in the mornings. It didn’t happen often, Jean was up, out of bed, fed, and fully dressed by the time Marco came to his door. Sometimes Jean would beat Marco to the door before he even raised his hand to ring the bell.

Today was not one of those days.

“As you can see, no. Not yet…” Jean muttered as he bowed his body back enough to quickly yank his pants up. Jumping to his feet, the blonde slung on a wife-beater and grabbed his school uniform coat and tie.

“Normal shirt.” Marco stated as he stood up straight and turned around. It wasn’t a command; it was a statement. Jean managed to sometimes forget to put on at least a thin white t-shirt over his wife-beater so that he didn’t get in trouble for wearing clothes that weren’t part of the dress code. Last time he forgot to put one on, it ended with him getting detention and cleaning duty no matter what for a month. Well, that was also part of his punishment for getting into another fight with Jaeger.

Jean slipped on a light white t-shit and put his school jacket on as if he was the cool guy in class. “Now I’m ready to go out and break some hearts~” Making pistols with his hands, he gave himself a wink as he looked at his handsome, disheveled look in the mirror. At the corner of his eye in the reflection of his mirror, he saw Marco smile, roll his eyes and shake his head. “What? I’m good looking and I know it!”

“And yet you’re still single.” Marco stated as he tossed Jean’s backpack to him and turned to leave his room. The blonde followed out with a huff.

“That’s because I only have my eyes set on one girl!”

“And again, you’re still single. Mikasa isn’t interested in you. She’s interested in Eren.” Marco told him as the two teens headed down the stairs, stopping in the kitchen for Jean to grab himself something to eat on their way to school. Thankfully, his mom was always prepared for incase this happened. She always has something whipped up for him in case he was late waking up to his alarm. Giving his mom a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, he and Marco were off.

“Her mind can change at any time you know! She’ll come around at some point.” He said as they walked out of the gate of the complex court yard and to the street. Marco sighed as he walked alongside his best friend.

“I doubt it, but you have a point.” Marco sighed out. He was doing that quite a lot. Jean looked at him and shrugged. Suddenly his dream came flooding back and his heart squeezed. It unsettled him again. “Did you do your English homework?”

Snapping back to reality, he focused back on Marco’s face, realizing what he had asked him. “Yeah, I did. I was actually up last night going over the notes you gave me. Thanks for that by the way.” Jean took his breakfast into his mouth to hold it and slung one of the straps off his shoulder and reached into his bag, handing him a nicely kept dark red notebook before Marco could get out his usual question of ‘You have it with you, right?’ Last time he forgot to grab the notebook, Marco got into a shit ton of trouble. Jean did try to take the blame, but their teacher didn’t believe him.

Jean hasn’t let himself live it down, and honestly, neither will Marco.

Sighing again, this time in relief, Marco thanked him and took his notebook back, placing it into his satchel bag.

“That was part of the reason that I slept so late. I was up last night doing some homework that I honestly needed to do. My grades are starting to slip and if my mom finds out, she’s going to have my head.”

“I thought I helped you get caught up on homework day before?” Marco asked a bit worriedly. Honestly, he was like a second mother in the form of his best friend.

“You did, but I have art homework as well.” Jean clarified after swallowing a bit of his food. Marco ah-ed with a nod. That was the only class that they didn’t have together.

The school that they went to was more western style but still had eastern discipline that most schools in Japan did. So far, the only class in high school the two teens didn’t have together was the fact that Jean was in an art class and Marco had an off period that he used to do homework – and occasionally would come and watch Jean paint or be his reference when he was working on a live project. Jean didn’t mind it if the teacher didn’t mind it.

“How is your colleague going?” Marco asked.

“I could do better. But I couldn’t stop figuring out what color palette I wanted to use for it.”

“Which ones?”

“The ‘Oh Fuck Me’ one or the ‘Fuck This I’ll Wing It’ one?” Jean glared at the dark haired teen. He really could be a snarky little fuck.

“….I decided on ‘Fuck This’.” He finally admitted. He had made all of his own palettes that he used for multiple projects and would reuse in different uses. Of course they were all spur of the moment ones, so they all were named in the spur of the moment, but they were still all used beautifully. “I’ll have the sketch on the canvas done by the time school gets out after I turn in my color theory homework.”

“Invitation for me to come and watch you sketch, I’m guessing?”  
“As always.” Jean smiled.

\-----

“What bullshit is this?!”

During his art class Marco, along with Eren, came walking into his class. In truth, it was more like Eren came into the room just as his class was ending with Marco trailing behind him in a panic. Marco hadn’t come into his class to watch him sketch, so he figured Marco was doing something. He just didn’t realize that this something was hanging out with Eren.

If it wasn’t for Marco and the teacher being there, this verbal fight might have turned into an all-out brawl between the two.

“I can’t come on the trip because you don’t want to deal with my ass?!” Eren shouted.

“I never said you can’t! I just told Connie that I personally preferred it!”

“How is that any different?!”

“It was obviously a misunderstanding, Eren, calm down.” Marco said in an attempt to settle the dispute. “He doesn’t not want you to go, he’s just…” Jean and Eren watched Marco as he tried to look for the right words. “He’s having some teenage issues?”

The two fell silent and stared at him. Did he really think that lame excuse was going to work on Eren?

Jean sighed, plopping down onto his stool in front of his canvas and looked at Eren with another scowl. “You can go on the trip or not, I’m not gonna tell you or anyone else otherwise. My only suggestion is that you get your own tent to share with someone. Turns out we have more people coming with us on the trip to the mountains, so it doesn’t matter what I think for the trip. You and I will have plenty of people to keep us from talking to each other for as little as possible.” Jean stated, turning back to the canvas that he was working on when the two dark haired teens waltzed into the art room.

Eren spat a fine with me and turned away as Marco sighed in defeat. Jean glanced over at his best friend only to do a double take at the sudden glare the black haired teen was sending him. Not only that, his class was staring.

“What?” He asked, picking up his pencil, looking around the room at all his classmates. He’s glad his teacher was out of the room for all of this. Jean looked back at Marco and repeated what he said, only a little quieter.

“That wasn’t the best way to settle that. Now he’s going to think you hate him.”

“I do hate him.” Jean stated matter-of-factly, starting back at his light sketch on the canvas. “He hates me. We just have some things that we don’t see eye-to-eye to. And even I know that he and I have a hard time even just calming down enough to see what we do actually have in common.” He admitted as he sketched.

Marco had grabbed a stool as Jean talked and sat down to watch Jean sketch, still upset with him. “As glad as I am to hear that you see the flaws in the relationship with Eren, doesn’t mean that you should be that mean to him. He is still our underling. And he doesn’t hate you as much as you think. He’s just stubborn and we all know that he’s hot headed.”

Huffing, Jean dropped his hand down to his knee and watched as Marco studied the lines he had just drawn. His expression looked like he was trying to be mad at the two of them, but couldn’t quite hold up the ruse. “I know that he and I were just starting to become friends up until last year’s camping trip, but things change.” Jean looked back at his sketch and studied it as well, trying to figure out what to do next.

Marco sighed and looked at the painting with Jean for a few moments in silence. “It’s beautiful as always, Jean.”

“It’s just a sketch at the moment.”

“You know I love them either way. It’s only just going to get better from here on out. So either way, it’ll be an amazing piece of art.” Marco stated. Jean only shrugged at him and picked up where he left off, each swish of his pencil adding more and more shape to his partly blank canvas. “Why do you never submit any of your art to art shows or something?” Marco asked.

“Because I never really thought about it. Also, because it’s what I do so that I can clear my mind. I just want to graduate and join the police force as soon as I get out.” Jean said, some of it mostly under his breath, but knew Marco had heard a majority of what he said anyways.

Nothing was said after that, knowing that a normal conversation would not be the best for him while he was sketching. Marco would give his opinion or a small question on what he was drawing, but other than that, nothing but quiet conversation.

\-----

By the time school ended, Jean was ready to head home, but for some stupid ass reason, their homeroom teacher wanted Marco and Armin to help him with something – carry some books or something to somewhere. So Jean sat in his desk like he said he would and get some of his normal school work out of the way while he waited. However, he was tired and was having a hard time keeping his eyes open.

After having that fiasco happen in the art room with Eren and Marco on top of stressing of getting his project finished on time – which had a closer due date than he had originally thought after he sketched out his project – he was very tired. He would catch himself doze little by little until finally he couldn’t keep them open anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know it was a bit short and the ending seemed rushed, but I can only explain one thing for both of them: My laptop kinda crashed... I lost the ending of the story as I was writing it and my laptop suddenly shut down for no reason and I lost hours of work on it. It was seriously long and since I wasn't able to recover what I had written despite having autosave, so it really sucks.
> 
> I really wanted this posted on here though before I lose internet connection for a pretty long while because I happen to be moving while I'm writing this.


End file.
